My water broke at 3:30 am that morning. I took my time showering, and we arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am. I was starting to feel contractions by then, but nothing too severe. We got checked in, and all situated in the hospital room. Ann and the parents were called, and everyone was on their way. I was checked by the nurse, got my epidural (even though I was only 3 cm), and laid down to take a nap while Rick went to the cafeteria to eat some breakfast. About 45 minutes later the nurse came in to check me as my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart, and I was 9.5 cm!!! I could not believe it. I kept asking her if she was lying to me. She said we are gonna start pushing soon- but I protested! Ann wasn't here! My parents hadn't even left from Phoenix yet! But- about ten minutes later I was fully dilated and started to push. It was so surreal. It was so quiet in there, just me, Rick and the nurse. Rick held one leg, the nurse the other, and one hour later, SHE was here! I couldn't believe it was a girl.... I couldn't believe I had a baby, and she was so so cute.
The next couple of days were hard. Quinn was jaundice, and not latching so we had to go to formula to take care of the excess bilirubin. I was overwhelmed, feeling I failed because she wouldn't breast feed, scared because she was sick, and just frustrated because we had so many visitors and I was needing some time to digest everything. The Dr. recommended we stay another night, and I am so glad we did. It was a relief to spend time with the lactation consultant and know Quinn was healthy, and the jaundice was gone before we left the hospital.
We brought her home on Halloween, and it has been nonstop ever since. Having a baby at home is like nothing I could have ever expected. It is so, so hard at times. Hilarious at others, and overwhelmingly amazing at most. I never thought I would love the smell of sour milk on a baby's neck, or cheer at a giant dirty diaper, or cry because breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. The first two weeks after she was born, I was a mess of hormones, emotions, and anxiety. Thank goodness that subsided and I am feeling back to my old self. I know Rick is thrilled, too. I think he was a little scared I had gone off the deep end there for a minute. These are things no one tells you about. I love her so very much, and life is completely different now. But, to me, it is perfect.
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