Runner.

This video is one of my favorites depicting what it feels like to run, or train for, a marathon. There are ups and downs, mental freak outs, and feelings of bliss. This can all happen within a single long run, and most days, does. I have always heard that running is entirely mental. Some days a three mile run can be harder than a 10 miler. A 16 mile long run on a Sunday can be easier than that half you competed in. It just depends on how you look at it, and how mentally prepared you are when you set out on that run.

I do not consider myself a runner. I run, but I am not a runner. I do not know exactly why, perhaps because I started running less than two years ago. Maybe it is because I have only run two half marathons, and a handful of shorter races. Or, it could be because I am not by any means fast, come close to being in the top of the finishers, or that running even comes easy for me. I have to try hard, I have to push myself, and I have to really mentally prepare to finish any number of the long runs I have on my schedule for that week. But, I do not consider myself a runner.

Now that makes me consider what I think a runner is. Well, I think a runner is someone that has run multiple marathons. I also think a runner is someone that can run really fast and not get overly tired, or injured, or throw up. Although, I do not think that throwing up is necessarily a sign of a poorly conditioned runner, I think it is a sign of someone who gave it their all, and there is no shame in puking on the side of the road after, or during, a race.

I also think a runner has sponsorships, free race entry because their previous times are so fast, front of the race starting privelages, or has run the Boston, NYC, or Chicago marathon. Those people are runners, and they are (clearly) not me. I have no idea why, but if you ask me to picture a runner, this is what I see.

I think I have learned a lot in my journey the last two years. I have some advice to give beginners based on my own experience, but I have a lot to learn. If someone asks me, "Are you a runner, Sara?" I automatically say no, I run, but I am not a runner. If someone says, "You're a runner, Sara, what do you think about ________?" I always, always, say "I am not a runner, but my thought on that is this________". I don't know why it makes me uneasy when people throw myself and "runner" together. I think people's pace or overall times are so personal. I never ask anyone what their times were on a race. I think it is like asking how much do you weigh, or how much do you make? I am happy for other people that run if they are satisfied with how well they did, no matter what their times are, and if they finished.

I have had a lot of fun on this journey of running. I have had a lot of tough times, too. Many tears have been shed, a few disappointments, and some successes. I think the biggest success is that I have gotten out of bed every morning, and am still thinking of and planning my next run without full on feelings of dread. When that day comes, I think I will hang up my running shoes, and that will be the end of it. I will be okay with that, too.

I do not know when, or even if, I will consider myself a runner. I know a lot of this won't make sense to most people, and many may not even come close to agreeing with me. Those people may very well be runners, and have many differing opinions of what a runner is. But- like I said, I am not a runner, I just run. What do you think makes a person that runs a runner?