le love

you don't love people at their best, sweetheart. you just love them because you can't help it.

amy lane.

Unmotivated.

Well, since being back from my trip, besides the excitement of unpacking all of the things we bought and uploading pictures, I have not been motivated to do anything physical. I am tired, have caught my sweet husband's cold that he had the last two days of our trip, and I am entirely unmotivated to run. I have 3 races coming up and I have no desire to train, I do not want to do them, and I do not want to run.

I know I am exhausted from my trip, and this stuffy, sore throat, and headache doesn't help, but I have no desire right now to lace up my running shoes.... We walked miles and miles on our trip. I ate 3 huge meals a day and drank to my heart's content, I did not run once, and I only gained a half a pound. 10 days of eating until it hurt, and I only gained a half a pound. This is definitely attested to all of the walking. So, I am tired. The thought of getting up and running makes me want to pull the covers over my head and hide. I do not want to read about it, talk about it, think about it, much less actually do it.

So, where does this leave me? It has been over 2 weeks since my last run, and I am 9 days away from a half marathon that I do not feel even remotely ready for. I am 3 weeks from a 27 hour race that I have no desire to do (can't I just ride in the van??), and a full marathon that seems all but impossible. It is so sad because I was doing so well. Before this trip I was running the best times of my running career, feeling good, and was in the best shape of my life.

I am going to try to run on Sunday if I feel better, and see how it goes. I may just get through the race in a month and hang up my running shoes because the feeling of dread I spoke about in my previous post is here, I just don't know quite yet if it is here to stay.

Dearest Husband,

Do you remember when we slow danced to the street musician singing the Beatle's 'Imagine' in the brisk night air in Trafalgar Square in London?

I do, and it was lovely.

All my love,
Your wife

Trip.

I am back. Back from my trip of a lifetime...

5 best friends. 5 airplane rides (4 with open bar).  4 countries. 1 broken suitcase. 3 helpful gentlemen. 1 loving husband. 1 truckbus. 4 languages. 25 bottles of wine.  5 pizzas. 2 crepes. 10 macaroons. 1 order of mussels and escargot. 2 croque madames. Too many croissants. 5 steins (for some) at Oktoberfest. 3 schnitzels. 3 fish and chips. 2 meat pies. 5 Guiness and Strongbows (poor man's black velvet). 4 magnets. 4 Christmas tree ornaments. 2 teddy bears. 1 hostel. 2 trips to le tower de eiffel. 1 ring. Many miles walked. 550 pictures. Hundreds of laughs. A million memories. Even more love.

Is it too early to start my countdown for the next one?

To sum up this trip in three little words? Dream. Come. True.

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if you hold onto the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. but it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you. 

brian andreas

One.

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One. One more day. One more day until I get to take the trip of a lifetime with friends of a lifetime. Two years of planning, saving, dreaming have gone in to this 10 day trip. I could not be more grateful, thankful, feel more blessed. I am so excited I can hardly breathe!

I have to get through two more days of work, one more night of packing, one more day of running around picking up last minute items, and one more long run. How I am going to get it all done is anybody's guess... but it will get done, as it always does.

Tomorrow morning I have to run 7 miles, get completely ready, pack my last minute items, all before 7 a.m. Phew! It is gonna be an early morning, probably a late night tonight, but for some reason I know it will all get done, and it will all be worth it.

I am embarking on a trip of a lifetime tomorrow, did you hear? And I could not be more excited.

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lelove

Dearest Husband,

I will gladly watch football all night long if you will always run your fingers through my hair as I fall asleep.

All my love,

Your Wife

p.s. I love my coat as much as I thought I would. xo

Weekend.

It has been a few days since I blogged, things have been a whirlwind since Friday! My sweet husband and I are getting ready to go on a trip. A trip we have been planning for two years with some of our bestest, bestest friends, and I am so excited I can hardly breathe. So, I have been shopping, and packing, and organizing. It is a lot of work to go away, and I have a lot to do. But- we are slowly getting there.

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This weekend was just so much fun. On Friday night, I met up with my coworkers at Chuy's, one of our favorite happy hour spots. (Despite the fact that one of the sentences painted on the wall has a misspelling in it, so I must sit with my back to it or it drives me crazy). I was only able to stay a short time because my awesome Mother-in-law and her equally wonderful friend was in town to visit, and attend the jewelry show that comes twice a year to Tucson. They always come to visit when the show is here, my Mother-in-law loves jewelry more than I do (which is no small feat), and has more in her collection than Elizabeth Taylor.

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We all had a great time visiting, eating, and catching up. My Mother-in-law is seriously the one of the most loving, generous, hard-working, and fun ladies I have ever met, I am so lucky. We went to Mama Louisa's for Italian before my long run Saturday morning, went out to breakfast twice, and tried out Amber Restaurant, which is the only place in town that serves authentic Polish food. We gorged ourselves!! Every place was better than the last. Yum!

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Saturday morning I ran ten miles along Julian Wash. It would have been a perfect run had I not been running into a wind tunnel the first 5 miles. But- the last 5 were glorious, and I ended up with a better time than I have ever run 10 miles before, so I was pretty happy. It just stinks because I wonder what my time could have been, had I not been practically pushed backwards the entire time... oh well, there's always next week!

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Sunday, my Mother-in-law and her friend left, but not before I went to the jewelry show with them to sell off some of my old gold. She has been telling me forever that I need to sell any gold I don't wear, and boy was she right! Gold is at the highest it has ever been, and I made a killing selling off a few of my old pieces that have never seen my wrist. Then, we said our goodbyes, I was sad to see them go, we had a fun weekend.

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Sunday was the 10th anniversary of the attacks of 9/11. I couldn't help but reflect on that day 10 years ago, and where I was. I was in my third year of undergrad up at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff. I was on my way to my 8 am class that Tuesday, and got in my car and turned on the radio. I heard the broadcaster say, "The Towers are gone, they have fallen. There has been a horrendous act of terrorism on the United States of America."

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I struggled to comprehend what they were saying. The World Trade Center?? Those two huge buildings in New York City?? Fallen down? I had no idea the magnitude of what I was about to learn more about, or what these events meant for our country. I called my boyfriend at the time, who was still asleep, and asked him to turn on the TV, and tell me what was going on. He didn't want to get out of bed, he too had no idea what was really happening.

That day at school was like a dream. Everything seemed quiet, at a standstill, it seemed like everyone was afraid to talk, make a noise. There were tears, faces of disbelief, and every class had the television tuned in to the news. New videos emerged, angles of the plane crashes, and accounts of what was going on at "Ground Zero". It was all a haze, yet I still remember it so vividly. Even today, 10 years later, as I do every year, I watched the documentaries and specials with bated breath and horror. It was a truly unbelievable day, and so many more people were affected than I can even comprehend. I suppose the most we can do now is pray for those affected, those with lost loved ones, and remember those who gave their lives for our safety before, during, and since those attacks. God Bless America.

'Opening up Skies' by John de Guzman

lelove

if you press me to say why i love him,

i can say no more than because he is he,

and i am i.

michel de montaigne

Fashion.

On a lighter note, last night New York Fashion Week kicked off with Fashion’s Night Out. For the third year in a row, stores around the world stayed open after hours to help celebrate — offering up special designs, discounts and goodie bags, not to mention a chance to meet celebs and the designers themselves.

Fashion's Night Out began in 2009 as a way to encourage consumers to shop and support the fashion industry. Now, it expands to more than 15 countries. Although I wasn't able to jet set around the globe last night, I can dream through pictures. Here are some of the celebrities that were at the Vogue event in NYC. Swoon.

Anything Rachel Bilson and Sophia Bush wear is automatically adorable in my book. Heidi Klum is a goddess, as always. Is it just me, or is Justin Bieber starting to look like a lesbian?

A little disappointed in SJP, but she always gets a free pass. Nicole Richie is so chic in her boho syle with sparkles. Love Mary Kate and Ashley, always. Leighton looks pretty and effortless.

I cannot imagine hanging out with all of these people at a single party. Victoria's Secret models that make you want to binge and purge on champagne and a cracker (two of those women have given birth). Anna Wintour and Diane Von Furstenburg: I would kill a small animal to visit their closets (kidding). The Zoe and hubby, who I am more in love with now that I have seen how cute and chic she continued to be prego. Whitney Port, Corinne Bailey Rae, and Selita Ebanks: undeniably beautiful and so very different. All with their own distinct style. I love Fashion Week!!

Hope.

As I was running on the treadmill yesterday, the President's address to Congress came on the television at the gym, and I took out my earbuds, and listened intently. I am, in no way, shape, or form, someone who pretends to understand all of the political jargon and the complicated rhetoric spewed from journalists and lobbyists when it comes to the economic siutation in America. I don't know if I fully commit myself to one political party. I do, however, listen when the President speaks, and there were a few sentiments made by him yesterday that struck a chord with me.

He was speaking about the 'American Job Act', a bill he wants passed that he feels will turn around the economic situation in America, create thousands of jobs, help out the families that are less fortunate, and ultimately boost our economy.

The President spoke with passion and determination, it made me want to listen, and I pray that what he says will happen, actually will. I work in the education field, and over the last 3 years, I have seen many teachers get riffed. Amazing teachers, teachers that teach about art, music, P.E., not to mention our counselors that are so desperately needed in the public schools where I work. It is sad enough when you hear about it, but when you live it, and see these teachers with so much to give, and so much passion for their field and their students lose their jobs because there just isn't funding, it is heartbreaking.

The number one thing that stood out to me about the President's speech last night was this:

"...millions of Americans who are watching right now: they don't care about politics. They have real life concerns. Many have spent months looking for work. Others are doing their best just to scrape by - giving up nights out with the family to save on gas or make the mortgage; postponing retirement to send a kid to college.

These men and women grew up with faith in an America where hard work and responsibility paid off. They believed in a country where everyone gets a fair shake and does their fair share - where if you stepped up, did your job, and were loyal to your company, that loyalty would be rewarded with a decent salary and good benefits; maybe a raise once in awhile. If you did the right thing, you could make it in America.

But for decades now, Americans have watched that compact erode. They have seen the deck too often stacked against them. And they know that Washington hasn't always put their interests first."

I see this all too much where I work and where I live. Hard-working, honest parents doing the best they can with what they've got, and they are barely scraping by. I would love to see what the President said next come to fruition:

"The purpose of the American Jobs Act is simple: to put more people back to work and more money in the pockets of those who are working. It will create more jobs for construction workers, more jobs for teachers, more jobs for veterans, and more jobs for the long-term unemployed...The American Jobs Act will repair and modernize at least 35,000 schools. It will put people to work right now fixing roofs and windows; installing science labs and high-speed Internet in classrooms all across this country...

Pass this jobs bill, and thousands of teachers in every state will go back to work. These are the men and women charged with preparing our children for a world where the competition has never been tougher. But while they're adding teachers in places like South Korea, we're laying them off in droves. It's unfair to our kids. It undermines their future and ours. And it has to stop. Pass this jobs bill, and put our teachers back in the classroom where they belong."

Now, I do not know if his plan is accurate, or even possible. But- it gave me hope (and distracted me from my run, which is always nice). It told me there is possibility out there, and hope and possibility are sometimes all we can ask for. Right?

lelove

we are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well
that death will tremble to take us. 

charles bukowski

Runner.

This video is one of my favorites depicting what it feels like to run, or train for, a marathon. There are ups and downs, mental freak outs, and feelings of bliss. This can all happen within a single long run, and most days, does. I have always heard that running is entirely mental. Some days a three mile run can be harder than a 10 miler. A 16 mile long run on a Sunday can be easier than that half you competed in. It just depends on how you look at it, and how mentally prepared you are when you set out on that run.

I do not consider myself a runner. I run, but I am not a runner. I do not know exactly why, perhaps because I started running less than two years ago. Maybe it is because I have only run two half marathons, and a handful of shorter races. Or, it could be because I am not by any means fast, come close to being in the top of the finishers, or that running even comes easy for me. I have to try hard, I have to push myself, and I have to really mentally prepare to finish any number of the long runs I have on my schedule for that week. But, I do not consider myself a runner.

Now that makes me consider what I think a runner is. Well, I think a runner is someone that has run multiple marathons. I also think a runner is someone that can run really fast and not get overly tired, or injured, or throw up. Although, I do not think that throwing up is necessarily a sign of a poorly conditioned runner, I think it is a sign of someone who gave it their all, and there is no shame in puking on the side of the road after, or during, a race.

I also think a runner has sponsorships, free race entry because their previous times are so fast, front of the race starting privelages, or has run the Boston, NYC, or Chicago marathon. Those people are runners, and they are (clearly) not me. I have no idea why, but if you ask me to picture a runner, this is what I see.

I think I have learned a lot in my journey the last two years. I have some advice to give beginners based on my own experience, but I have a lot to learn. If someone asks me, "Are you a runner, Sara?" I automatically say no, I run, but I am not a runner. If someone says, "You're a runner, Sara, what do you think about ________?" I always, always, say "I am not a runner, but my thought on that is this________". I don't know why it makes me uneasy when people throw myself and "runner" together. I think people's pace or overall times are so personal. I never ask anyone what their times were on a race. I think it is like asking how much do you weigh, or how much do you make? I am happy for other people that run if they are satisfied with how well they did, no matter what their times are, and if they finished.

I have had a lot of fun on this journey of running. I have had a lot of tough times, too. Many tears have been shed, a few disappointments, and some successes. I think the biggest success is that I have gotten out of bed every morning, and am still thinking of and planning my next run without full on feelings of dread. When that day comes, I think I will hang up my running shoes, and that will be the end of it. I will be okay with that, too.

I do not know when, or even if, I will consider myself a runner. I know a lot of this won't make sense to most people, and many may not even come close to agreeing with me. Those people may very well be runners, and have many differing opinions of what a runner is. But- like I said, I am not a runner, I just run. What do you think makes a person that runs a runner?

lelove

this is a giant block of whatever is most difficult for you to carry & trust me on this, you'll carry it more times than you can count until you decide that's exactly what you want to do most & then it won't weigh a thing anymore.

brian andreas

Ouch.

McDougall, 2010

I am currently reading Christopher McDougall’s inspirational Born to Run A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World has Never Seen. Born to Run is the product of Christopher’s McDougall’s quest to answer a seemingly simple yet multi-faceted question: “How come my foot hurts?” Whilst weaving an intriguing and gripping tale of his shared journey along the route of running his first ultramarathon in the Copper Canyons of Mexico, Christopher introduces fascinating and inspirational real-life characters who all do their part to inspire the reader to do what humans as a species were born to do—run. (Dubois, 2011)

Running is fun, running is hard, and running can be very, very painful. Statistics show that 8 out of 10 runners will become injured EVERY year.  Think about that for a second, 80% injured, every single year. It is a part of running, as much as new shoes every 400 miles, and it most likely will happen if you are a runner. The book Born to Run begins with him asking the question, 'Why?'. "No invention yet has slowed the carnage," he writes. "Running seemed to be the fitness version of drunk driving: you could get away with it for a while ... but catastrophe was waiting right around the corner." It makes sense, the force put on your legs with every pound of the pavement is three to four times the body's weight. During a 10-mile run, the feet make 15,000 strikes; your knees, feet, and joints are put through a brutal beating. The bigger you are, the harder the beating. (McDougall, 2011)

I think I have been pretty lucky as far as injuries go with my training. I have trained for a full marathon (ran 20 miles on my 29th birthday, a week before my wedding), ran two half marathons, and several shorter races, and never had more than a slight bout of shin splints. New shoes quickly nipped that pesky pain. My sweet husband has had such IT-band problems, he has been forced to have physical therapy, and even stopped twice to stretch out his IT-band during our last half marathon. (And still finished in a time of 1:48:22, but who's bragging). This injury has sidelined him more than once, and I cannot imagine his frustration, or the time he would post if he were able to run straight through without stopping.

Running comes easier to him than it does to me. He is naturally at least a minute per mile faster than me, and I always say he reminds me of a horse on a merry-go-round, quietly and quickly gliding through the air... up and down, up and down. But- he is now injury prone it may seem.

I do not have injuries per say, from running.  I do get hurt from falling. In my first full marathon, I was running along, feeling good, enjoying the beautiful San Diego weather and the race environment. Then suddenly- disaster. A woman in front of me fell, and what did I do? Go around her? Nope. Stop to help her up? I wish. I wasn't paying attention and I went right over the top of her, and landed on my face. I had a skinned knee, bump on my forehead, and bloody hands. I had never fallen before when running, and I was stunned, and everything hurt. It was awful. I kept going, but I had to cut my race short to a half marathon. It was one of the hardest things to do, and I was so upset and disappointed. I set out to do a full marathon, and did a half marathon, with an awful time, I am sure. I never even checked to see what it was. I told my story to one of my sweet friends when I got home and she told me she was proud of me. She said everyone has bad race days. The point was I trained for a full, which is an accomplishment in itself. I try to remind myself of her words when I have bad days, and it always makes me feel better. I am determined to run a full marathon in my lifetime, and have a one in December.

I also end up bloody after long runs. I don't notice during the run, but I do find blood on my feet, and recently, on my shoulder from my Camelback rubbing my skin raw. I don't care, that Camelback is one of the best things I have ever bought for running. No more planting water, searching for a water fountain, or stopping to drink from water in my awful water belt. I run straight through my water breaks, and I love it. I'll rub both my shoulders completely off before I give that thing up.

My socks always end up bloody, too! This has been happening since I started playing soccer. After games from elementary through high school, I always had bloody socks. My toenails are always short, my shoes fit. I just seem to have a knack for hitting the skin just right, and there it is, a bloody, gross sock.

My point is, I can handle a bloody sock, or a skinned knee. I pray I make it throught this training injury-free and go on to complete my first full marathon in December. I pray my sweet husband's IT-band makes it through his training, and he finishes with a time he is excited about, pain free. I pray we are not one of those 8/10 runners, and make it through this year with some bright, shiny medals, and smiles on our faces. Pray for us, too, won't you?

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the place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.

hafiz

Visitors.

I hope everyone had a safe, restful, and fun-filled weekend!! We sure did! We got a lot of shopping done for our upcoming trip to Europe, and I got in a really good 9 miler on Sunday morning. I was really happy, and it was the fastest I have ever run 9 miles, so I am feeling better and better about my upcoming races. I have 10 miler this weekend, so I'll get back to ya on how that one goes!

Some of our nearest and dearest friends, Keith and Katie, came down to visit us, and brought their two beautiful, and super well-behaved children, Lily and Sean. Keith and Rick have been close friends since Rick moved to Phoenix from Cleveland when he was 15, and we love spending time with them every chance we get. They are the most in-love, affectionate, and mutually supportive couple I have ever met, and have been married for 11 years! They are both kind, generous, and so very thoughtful. We are very lucky to have them in our lives.

me and hot mama, Katie

They arrived early Sunday afternoon, and my house was almost instantly over taken by chatter, silly bands, and bionicles. I loved every minute of it.

We tried our best to keep the kiddos occupied in this heat with some Eegee's slushies, a trip to the Pima Air and Space Museum, ice cream, and movies. The museum is super close to our house, and my sweet husband has been wanting to go there ever since we moved into our house, so it was an awesome opportunity and a fun place for the kids to explore. The museum was beautiful, clean, and they allowed you to touch the old aircrafts and even get up inside many of them. There were relics and memorabilia from WW2, and photos and even journal entries from a soldier that was lost in the desert, chronocling his last days. My heart felt heavy reading about all of the fallen soldiers, and the memorial part of the musem was so touching. It really made Rick and I appreciate all those who have served our country, and those who continue to do so. My heart broke for the families of lost loved ones. Being in the service is something I truly admire, and cannot imagine being a soldier's wife. They are so brave and so strong.

After we came home from the musuem, we watched movies, cooked, and played video games. It was a wonderful time, and Rick and Keith got to do one of their many fantasy football drafts together while the women cooked. Lily, Katie, and I made three types of homemade pizza (sausage and caramelized onion, chicken alfedo, and pepperoni), caesar salad, and fruit, and we had funfetti cupcakes, frosted by the kids for dessert.

After the kids went to bed, the adults stayed up drinking, talking, and playing Scattergories. We laughed, ate too many leftovers, and just got to spend some quality time together. And, of course, Monday morning was met with a trip to the TTT for some Omar's favorite for breakfast. A visit from friends would not be complete without it! It was a great weekend, and I did not want to go back to work! Happy Labor Day, everyone!!

lelove



How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved.

Sigmund Freud, Letter to fiancée Martha Bernays

Luckiest.

I know sometimes this blog will undoubtedly look like a love letter to my sweet husband, but yesterday was one of those days that he absolutely deserves it. My post yesterday was about all the things I am coveting as of late. From fashion, to makeup, to accessories, to movies. I love to daydream about shopping, maybe it's a girl thing, maybe it's just me. Sometimes I will go on to my favorite websites, fill up my shopping cart full of their loveliest items, and close out without purchasing anything, it gives me {almost} the same satisfaction as buying all of it. Almost.

But yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about this coat I found on the Anthropologie website. It is super adorable, don't you think?? I sent the link to my mother, hoping she would "surprise" me with it as a "Congrats! You are going on your first Europe trip!" gift. (They have those, don't they?) She sent me an email telling me she was laughing out loud. I do not think that pretty package will be arriving on my doorstep. I sent the link to my husband, "Isn't it so cute!?". His response was "Yes, very cute, honey". Which is what he always says when I am lusting after something new. Nothing out of the ordinary.

So, I went about my day, daydreaming of the turquoise peacoat with the frilled echelons, thinking of myself twirling and skipping across the streets of Paris in a few short weeks, wearing my perfect coat.

I was cooking dinner, as I do every night, when my husband came home from the gym after work. Kisses hello, "How was your day?", etc... I told him there was still time left before dinner so he should go up stairs and relax, surf the web, whatever it is he does in his "man cave", aka. our office. He didn't know, but earlier that day I had gone to pick up Lil Wayne's newest album he had been waiting for to be released, and put it on his computer as a surprise. Just a little something to brighten his day, he works so hard.

So, he went upstairs and I was expecting to hear, "Aw babe, thanks!". But- nothing.... I could hear him moving around in our bedroom, figured he was changing or something. Then, I hear his voice as I am standing in the kitchen, "Babe, close your eyes." So, I did, and behind his back he pulled out his giant change bank, with a bow on top.

He said, "Babe, I have been thinking about it, and thinking about it. I want you to buy your coat with this money. I think it is perfect for you to wear on our trip. You have been working so hard at work, at your private speech, and at home. You deserve it." I was speechless, and so touched. Rick has been saving his loose change for as long as I can remember. Every time he has a clanging in his pocket after a day of work, or we get change from buying anything, he puts it right there in that bank. Whenever there is change lying around the house, and I go to pick it up he says, "Put that in my bank, I am saving for something special, I just don't know what yet."

I was often envious of him and that change bank. There were times when I needed some quick cash for something, or we were saving up, or on a budget and couldn't go right out and buy something shiny that had caught my eye. I so wished I could dive in there and go pick up something pretty to wear. I never did touch his bank, he had been saving for so long for something "special". Well, now I know that something special was me. And he hadn't even seen the CD yet. I am the luckiest.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds

p.s. You see that new banner up on top of my blog?? Why, yes, my sweet husband made that, too. Told you I was lucky.